The Ideal Wife

Prov. 31:10-31

What is the ideal wife? What does she look like? Where is she found? How does one become the ideal wife? Is there such a person as the ideal wife? There are many questions on this subject. Many people make derogatory remarks about the role of a wife, but that is man’s opinion. The most important is what does God say is the ideal woman, the ideal wife and the ideal mother? The opinion of man is of no consequence; it is the opinion of God that counts because He is the One who has the final say over everything.

The NIV Bible has the heading “The Wife of Noble Character.”

Noble means important, impressive, splendid, well-bred, honourable, etc., but don’t let that put you off. Don’t say to yourself that it is impossible to attain something like that in your life. God sets high standards and it proper and right that He does, but remember this, God does not set standards that are impossible to reach. It is possible. The only thing you have to do is to work at it. Nothing worthwhile is attained without effort and sweat. So, ladies, ask the Holy Spirit to help you and go for it

Now what is the ideal wife like?


Verse 10 and 20, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth FAR MORE than rubies. Many woman do noble things but YOU surpass them all”

Before I say anything about the ideal wife I want to say this to the husbands: your wife may not be up to standard in all that will be said this morning, but treat her like one and you will be rewarded. A little encouragement from your side will work wonders – try it sometime, like right now!

The ideal wife is a pearl of great price – treasure her, make her feel like one. She cannot be bought, but she can be MADE into one. The wife who appreciates her husband and lets him know it also receives her rewards. The priceless wife looks after her tongue, she uses it with discretion. Prov. 10:20, “The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” Prov. 22:11 “He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have a king for his friend.”


Verses 11 and 28, “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

Do you run your wife or your husband down in company? Did you know that this is one of the vilest practices you can ever engage in? Praise each other for a change in company and you will be surprised at the result. The ideal wife is dependable, she is honourable, she is also faithful. She has eyes only for her husband when it comes to sex She does not give any indication that she is available to anyone except to her husband. Her husband must trust her in all respects. To be trustworthy also means that she must not take part in gossiping. She MUST keep her tongue, her lips and her mouth under control. Prov. 11:13, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Prov. 11:22, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Prov. 13:3, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”


Verse 12, 22 and 25, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She make coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

The ideal wife is responsible and makes a point to know her responsibilities. She looks after herself and keeps herself well dressed all the time, by this I mean that she dresses for the occasion. She is always well groomed and neat on her person and in her house. Do you meet your husband when he comes home, after a hard days work, with a grunt and with curlers in your hair and with dirty clothes on? Even if you also have had a hard days work, don’t push it on your husband. Freshen yourself up, tidy your hair up and greet him with a smile. It works wonders! A responsible wife disciplines her children. She develops confidence and fills her heart with peace. Prov. 22:6 “Train the child in the ways he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The mother has an awesome task with the children. Husbands do not shirk your part in it.


Verses 13, 17 and 19, “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. In her hands she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.”

Here is a picture of a woman who joyfully goes about her daily chores as if they were the best thing in the world for her. Do you do that, or do you complain all day long? Prov. 19:13 says that a quarrelsome or a nagging wife is like dripping water to the family. Please take note that there is a great difference between hard work and slaving it out without thanks. Hard work can still be a pleasure while slaving it out brings no joy at all.

Proverbs 14:1 tells us, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down.” You can only build your house into the castle you want it to be if you do it with love I your heart. Your husband may be giving you a hard time, but ask the Lord to put His peace in your own heart and when you have it you will find that you work for the Lord’s pleasure. In this state of mind you bring joy to the rest of the family. The hardworking wife also ensures that she seeks the right type of training and skills. Proverbs 22:29 puts is very nicely, “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.” King Solomon is saying here that your hard work will not go unnoticed.


Verses 14, 15, 20, 21 26 and 27, “She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread idleness.”

The ideal wife provides for her family under all circumstances even if the going is tough. She sees that every one in the family has enough food, clothes, etc. She provides for the needs of her husband, physical as well as spiritual, and she does her best to keep peace in the house. Proverbs 15:30 says that a heart at peace gives life to the body. The ideal wife is also on duty 24 hours of the day every day of the week; throughout the year. She is the most underestimated person and seldom is given the credit she deserves. Husbands and children, look after the lady of the house; treat her like a queen and you will get royal treatment yourself. Treat her to breakfast in bed every now and again. A bunch of flowers now and again also does wonders. Do you part and you will also start moulding your partner into the ideal wife. The ideal wife also not only looks after her husband and her family but she also shows compassion for the needy and the poor. She shows concern for others without neglecting her own family. Proverbs 11:25 says, “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”


Verses 16, 18 and 24, “She considers a field and buys it, out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

The ideal wife is not one who lashes out and goes on spending sprees just for the fun of it. She does not buy without finding out if the article is really necessary. She looks after the money affairs with discretion and is a thrifty as possible without being miserly. She is the one who makes sure there is money put into the savings account for a rainy day, no matter how small the amount for she knows that every little bit counts; that the building is built brick by brick. Proverbs 12:11, “He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment.” Now listen to this gem of advice by King Solomon in Proverbs 13:11, “Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow.” The ideal wife follows that advice and makes herself the envy of others.


Verse 23, “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”

Because the ideal wife is priceless, trustworthy, responsible, hardworking, providing for her family and a businesswoman, she is influential, not only at home, but also outside the home. It is not difficult to see the ideal housewife; no wonder she is called the Home executive! In her own right she is, and should be, just as successful as a hardworking husband. She is the one who has the most influence over the children and their training in manners, etc. In this she should, and MUST, be supported by her husband. The way she acts, dresses, cooks, etc., has a definite effect on her husband. Ladies, do you take the trouble to make your husband proud of you?

Lastly: How do you become the ideal housewife, sorry, the ideal home executive? There is only one way. On your own it is virtually impossible, but, with the help of Someone special you can make it.Verses 30 and 31 give you the answer, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

The fear of the Lord simply means respect for the Lord. Proverbs 9:10-12 tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.” If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

Ladies, make the Lord Jesus the One of your life, and you will have the right start to becoming the ideal wife. Work at it and you will be tremendously rewarded.

God bless all the housewives!